Whn i first thought of blogging nearly a year ago, it was not to follow a fad, not to scream out to the world that i exist and here's what it think of you, it was a much more personal idea, like a journal i wouldn't have to worry abt lying around for my friends nd family to come across....... it was an exercise to record what i think and feel for myself, so that i can create memories for myself nd may be interact with some random strangers and know what makes them tick, if at all they care to share......but as it turned out all that it is not...., though i've managed to keep my rookie blog out of evryone's notice i did fall into the trap of wishing they knew what i was thinking and saying, wishing tht they comment on evry little thing i post about ,whether its a movie i saw or a toe nail i broke, i didn't actually announce the fact tht m blogging bt was continously thinking what would make a good read, changing the background every second day ....in short defeating the very purpose i began it for......... bt their was this niggling feeling that none of this is working for me......
now i understand why ,
why personal diaries used to come with locks, their hiding places were as secret as the holy grail and the idea tht someone was in position to go through it the cause for alarm.......so much so it became a cliche, for i too have maintained forever that i m not comfortable giving everyone an insight in my soul, its too easy to read what someone thinks, figure them out and find a place in their life, no fuss, no fun and obviously no sincerity!
So, here i am being honest to myself, and reverting to the original purpose of my blog, and will keep doing so till they find me which i hope will nt be for a very long time, m not turning the lock jst yet bt i think i'll keep the option open....btw i think the old template works best....wht do u think??
P.S. - as for those who do come across it, actually want to read an comment without feeling any obligation or formality, pls feel free.....only sincere comments are welcome....
Monday, July 26, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
wordless
ahem,.......................
chronicling life's major events is nvr too easy, they r d ones tht choke up ur throat as u struggle to find literature, prose, poetry or any damn string of words which could remotely resemble what is going on inside u......
life would surely have been easier if it came with a manual,bt thn it wouldn't have been life as we know it........u would not gag up both at the thought of expressing love and angst, which though disconcerting is surely interesting.......
WORDLESS nd SPEECHLESS is
how the best of the situations are described, pick up a third rate novel or literature at its finest, u'll come across a horde of characters left mumbling, tumbling and jst plain speechless as they witness life in all its spectacular glory.
And tht is all i m today, (coz no words r d best words for this!) as i sit down to chronicle one of d sweetest days which life has offered me, it has added more colour to my rainbow as i view life through the haze of rain.....
Wordless ....nd speechless........Greatful for a special someone...............
And as tht special someone reads it, i'd like to remind her
not to get senti bt jst mental the way she usually is......
P.S. i love you ( book nt the movie........ hehe)
chronicling life's major events is nvr too easy, they r d ones tht choke up ur throat as u struggle to find literature, prose, poetry or any damn string of words which could remotely resemble what is going on inside u......
life would surely have been easier if it came with a manual,bt thn it wouldn't have been life as we know it........u would not gag up both at the thought of expressing love and angst, which though disconcerting is surely interesting.......
WORDLESS nd SPEECHLESS is
how the best of the situations are described, pick up a third rate novel or literature at its finest, u'll come across a horde of characters left mumbling, tumbling and jst plain speechless as they witness life in all its spectacular glory.And tht is all i m today, (coz no words r d best words for this!) as i sit down to chronicle one of d sweetest days which life has offered me, it has added more colour to my rainbow as i view life through the haze of rain.....
Wordless ....nd speechless........Greatful for a special someone...............
And as tht special someone reads it, i'd like to remind her
not to get senti bt jst mental the way she usually is......
P.S. i love you ( book nt the movie........ hehe)
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Weeding out the flowerbed
Family, friends, colleagues,peers ......all at one time or the other put down bonds and shackles on us so much so that we find ourself bound and chained without any escape..while it may be a mental exercise it rules our physical universe so completely that we start acting in tandem with "acceptable image" without realizing it, never quite getting it right, never wondering if it even exists...
Even when they wear us down with their comments, demands, suggestions, orders and complaints, we never think of finding an exit route, too busy trying to maintain relationships, keeping up ties, creating harmony and doing all we can to prevent the boat from rocking.But while we are doing that we do not realize that choppy waters are of our own unrest.
Though it is important to have friends and family support , it is mandatory that we do not let ourselves be ruled by them.Its is better to respect yourself and stay aloof than to be a doormat for someone else to step on. Its worth the loss of relationships that burden us, if it also helps us lose self-pity, doubt and discontent.We all carry excess baggage in our lives, while it may be wise to travel light, its not always easy to do it. The emotional ties are strong and binding but before we turn into a muttering, gibbering wacko who wallows in misery cursing all those who turned him into one, yet unable to steer clear off them either out of choice or compulsion, it is better to sever them. You may have to live with them but not love them.
There are those who ruin lives without ever pulling the trigger or wielding the sword, they are adept at accomplishing all that with words alone.They may not take a life but they take the joy out of it. It may not kill you, but it will surely kill all the love and respect inside you. Being happy is not a natural state but an acquired condition and you need to weed out ur flowerbed, if u want to enjoy both the fragrance and the view.........
Even when they wear us down with their comments, demands, suggestions, orders and complaints, we never think of finding an exit route, too busy trying to maintain relationships, keeping up ties, creating harmony and doing all we can to prevent the boat from rocking.But while we are doing that we do not realize that choppy waters are of our own unrest.
Though it is important to have friends and family support , it is mandatory that we do not let ourselves be ruled by them.Its is better to respect yourself and stay aloof than to be a doormat for someone else to step on. Its worth the loss of relationships that burden us, if it also helps us lose self-pity, doubt and discontent.We all carry excess baggage in our lives, while it may be wise to travel light, its not always easy to do it. The emotional ties are strong and binding but before we turn into a muttering, gibbering wacko who wallows in misery cursing all those who turned him into one, yet unable to steer clear off them either out of choice or compulsion, it is better to sever them. You may have to live with them but not love them.
There are those who ruin lives without ever pulling the trigger or wielding the sword, they are adept at accomplishing all that with words alone.They may not take a life but they take the joy out of it. It may not kill you, but it will surely kill all the love and respect inside you. Being happy is not a natural state but an acquired condition and you need to weed out ur flowerbed, if u want to enjoy both the fragrance and the view.........
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
What's in a Name?
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Shakespeare immortalized these words decades ago, for years they hav ruled the lips of mankind but today i came across something which makes them sound frivolous, no im not undermining the greatest maestro of literature of all times,just believing that the idea is not as universal as i used to think. it is right in many circumstances not to be tied down or held back by your name, yet there are others where your name is your identity, your pride, your persona, your whole life and that's when it matters the most. What i came across was a movie ' my name is khan' a sweet yet tragic, a heroic yet innocent account which separates yet generalizes the misery and divide a name can bring and somehow also manages to unite and uplift what individuals connected by a name can do without emphasizing on it. the actions are not meant to add grandeur to the name but confirm that actions can be there, despite what the name is..
its not the story of a man trying to fight against the system, but of one trying to keep his word.its not about proving something to someone but about loving as only the truest can. its a story of humanity divided and yet again united by a name, here it was Khan - it might be any what does it matter so long it unites, you might say...but it matters to those who carry it, who live it, who have their lives turned upside down by it.
A rose may not be able to feel, to complain, to express if it is discriminated upon, it may only be able to spread its sweetness ( and believe me when i say you cannot convey the same joy the promise of roses brings by a promise of marigolds; and i'd complain to tht if i were a marigold) but humans can, and to them it does matter.....
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Shakespeare immortalized these words decades ago, for years they hav ruled the lips of mankind but today i came across something which makes them sound frivolous, no im not undermining the greatest maestro of literature of all times,just believing that the idea is not as universal as i used to think. it is right in many circumstances not to be tied down or held back by your name, yet there are others where your name is your identity, your pride, your persona, your whole life and that's when it matters the most. What i came across was a movie ' my name is khan' a sweet yet tragic, a heroic yet innocent account which separates yet generalizes the misery and divide a name can bring and somehow also manages to unite and uplift what individuals connected by a name can do without emphasizing on it. the actions are not meant to add grandeur to the name but confirm that actions can be there, despite what the name is..
its not the story of a man trying to fight against the system, but of one trying to keep his word.its not about proving something to someone but about loving as only the truest can. its a story of humanity divided and yet again united by a name, here it was Khan - it might be any what does it matter so long it unites, you might say...but it matters to those who carry it, who live it, who have their lives turned upside down by it.
A rose may not be able to feel, to complain, to express if it is discriminated upon, it may only be able to spread its sweetness ( and believe me when i say you cannot convey the same joy the promise of roses brings by a promise of marigolds; and i'd complain to tht if i were a marigold) but humans can, and to them it does matter.....
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Lead Me To The End Of The Thread
the jrny of self discovry , u read abt it constantly in print, in media ,u hear bt it 4rm evrybody , it is a proclamation subtle bt consistent in teachings of sages, scoldings of ur parents (nt mine though, they'd rather i abandon d attempt) n basically evrbody else who can walk nd talk........
i recently read abt a young flourishing Indian actor who says he found out who he was at 15!!!!! well, kudos to him for tht, m stll clueless which road to take, wht terminal i shld catch to begin tht fabled jrny which is supposed to calm the restless waters of mind, body, heart and soul, unite them n let me able to cherish them instead of pushing 'em around as i usually do ..
is thr a set pattern i cld follow, perhaps a guide book , road map oh anything for tht matter tht cld make things simpler, bt thn i guess it won't be wht its supposed to b.
hw is it so , tht some ppl r born knowing who they r, wht d want to b , they no xactly hw they'll go abt it as if they r born with sum kind of blueprint stuck the in front of their eyes,
thr r others who are quite meek, they take every toss and turn of life in their stride, nothing bothers them, nothing cajoles them , they welcome whtevr life thows at 'em with open arms ( wonder if they r God incarnates or simply dead)
nd thn comes d third kind which is always unhappy, always searching, always questioning the who, the what, the why and the how, they dn't have a moments' peace ( neither they let others have it, mind u!!) the quest mayb short-lived or it may extend a lifetime and beyond bt it it is very much thr...the constant trouble and turmoil, and those r the kind u shld b wary of ( incidently it includes me too) .
But i wasn't like this olwayzz , all my life i've been nothing bt an academic, didn't hav much of a choice u c ( my family is full of 'em )and being appreciated 4 the same quelled any bids tht i might hav made to any other signs of life tht accidentally strayed across my path( though they weren't too many) i might hav made a run for it or shown dangerous precariousness to tumble one way or the other bt the balance was always restored somehow ( my fate seemed to b sealed at tht one pt. and i was blissfully ignorant of the fact), i was introduced to books b4 i cld walk and talk by my mom who had found a clever way to make up 4 her long absences, i might hav pined 4 her early on, bt at least i wasn't without a companion.... i do not grudge her for tht infact i love and adore her 4 finding me a friend which has nvr failed me so far.....they made me wht i am, they won me accolades, they wiped my tears and evn subdued my angry outbursts , they comforted me nd nurtured me n they've finally led me to trouble...............
they introduced me to the mayrid colors of life, bt being the slowpoke practical i m , it nvr bothered me till i lft the comforts of my structured, sheltered life....which always had a purpose. Now evn though i hav one, it does'nt seem vital .....imp bt definately nt vital, for tht bug of self discovery has finally caught up with me.................filled my head with questions nd lft with no directions to embark on d quest of my life........to talk bt it to ppl who i no best is nt a solution coz they run 4 cover at its slightest mention......
So hey , is nybody out thr ...............who might hav stumbled on to d end of the thread, lead me to it, i promise i'll unravel the knot myself........
Jst lead me to d end of the thread
i recently read abt a young flourishing Indian actor who says he found out who he was at 15!!!!! well, kudos to him for tht, m stll clueless which road to take, wht terminal i shld catch to begin tht fabled jrny which is supposed to calm the restless waters of mind, body, heart and soul, unite them n let me able to cherish them instead of pushing 'em around as i usually do ..
is thr a set pattern i cld follow, perhaps a guide book , road map oh anything for tht matter tht cld make things simpler, bt thn i guess it won't be wht its supposed to b.
hw is it so , tht some ppl r born knowing who they r, wht d want to b , they no xactly hw they'll go abt it as if they r born with sum kind of blueprint stuck the in front of their eyes,
thr r others who are quite meek, they take every toss and turn of life in their stride, nothing bothers them, nothing cajoles them , they welcome whtevr life thows at 'em with open arms ( wonder if they r God incarnates or simply dead)
nd thn comes d third kind which is always unhappy, always searching, always questioning the who, the what, the why and the how, they dn't have a moments' peace ( neither they let others have it, mind u!!) the quest mayb short-lived or it may extend a lifetime and beyond bt it it is very much thr...the constant trouble and turmoil, and those r the kind u shld b wary of ( incidently it includes me too) .
But i wasn't like this olwayzz , all my life i've been nothing bt an academic, didn't hav much of a choice u c ( my family is full of 'em )and being appreciated 4 the same quelled any bids tht i might hav made to any other signs of life tht accidentally strayed across my path( though they weren't too many) i might hav made a run for it or shown dangerous precariousness to tumble one way or the other bt the balance was always restored somehow ( my fate seemed to b sealed at tht one pt. and i was blissfully ignorant of the fact), i was introduced to books b4 i cld walk and talk by my mom who had found a clever way to make up 4 her long absences, i might hav pined 4 her early on, bt at least i wasn't without a companion.... i do not grudge her for tht infact i love and adore her 4 finding me a friend which has nvr failed me so far.....they made me wht i am, they won me accolades, they wiped my tears and evn subdued my angry outbursts , they comforted me nd nurtured me n they've finally led me to trouble...............
they introduced me to the mayrid colors of life, bt being the slowpoke practical i m , it nvr bothered me till i lft the comforts of my structured, sheltered life....which always had a purpose. Now evn though i hav one, it does'nt seem vital .....imp bt definately nt vital, for tht bug of self discovery has finally caught up with me.................filled my head with questions nd lft with no directions to embark on d quest of my life........to talk bt it to ppl who i no best is nt a solution coz they run 4 cover at its slightest mention......
So hey , is nybody out thr ...............who might hav stumbled on to d end of the thread, lead me to it, i promise i'll unravel the knot myself........
Jst lead me to d end of the thread
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The first blog ( contd........)
I EXIST BECAUSE YOU IMAGINE I DO
I DREAM THEREFORE I AM
The gift of talent i believe is a huge responsibility, it does not really belong to u, it never did....
shekhar kapur
These r the words of filmmaker shekhar kapur, the man who has transcended boundaries, history and time itself to create magic on celluloid as will forever be remembered....commenting on his own work he says tht all the talent ppl perceive as his, is neigh bt a gift, a debt from the eternal xpanse of universe into which he keeps zapping to and fro, a tiring but quintessential journey as he partakes yet another adventure with destiny and creates movies which touch millions across the globe.he believes he constantly shuffles btw his naive and shrewd selves to maintain his innocence, to keep in touch with his true unconquered spirit .......
a complex whirl of ideas and yet seemingly plausible, it does lead you to wonder if your talent too was merely a loan from eternity and if so, dn't we all share the same wide expanse of the universe, cn't we all draw the same from it.....yet thr exists a disparity among ppl who r all talented bt in different measures, proportions and varieties as well....on the other hand if we do share it all and have access to what made the substance of the great masteros of the world, whr is the cause of negativity, jealousy and hatred they so often encounter or is it merely the intrest on the debt, tht keeps the universe in balance, the same way as good and bad, yin and yang, love and hate do....is this the God's gr8 balancing act tht keeps the world together in one piece........
Do think......
I DREAM THEREFORE I AM
The gift of talent i believe is a huge responsibility, it does not really belong to u, it never did....
shekhar kapur
These r the words of filmmaker shekhar kapur, the man who has transcended boundaries, history and time itself to create magic on celluloid as will forever be remembered....commenting on his own work he says tht all the talent ppl perceive as his, is neigh bt a gift, a debt from the eternal xpanse of universe into which he keeps zapping to and fro, a tiring but quintessential journey as he partakes yet another adventure with destiny and creates movies which touch millions across the globe.he believes he constantly shuffles btw his naive and shrewd selves to maintain his innocence, to keep in touch with his true unconquered spirit .......
a complex whirl of ideas and yet seemingly plausible, it does lead you to wonder if your talent too was merely a loan from eternity and if so, dn't we all share the same wide expanse of the universe, cn't we all draw the same from it.....yet thr exists a disparity among ppl who r all talented bt in different measures, proportions and varieties as well....on the other hand if we do share it all and have access to what made the substance of the great masteros of the world, whr is the cause of negativity, jealousy and hatred they so often encounter or is it merely the intrest on the debt, tht keeps the universe in balance, the same way as good and bad, yin and yang, love and hate do....is this the God's gr8 balancing act tht keeps the world together in one piece........
Do think......
Friday, February 12, 2010
the first blog
Today as i post my views online i cannot help bt think back at the first blog tht intrigued me, well it wasn't really a blog, bt an interview of shekhar kapur which mentioned his opinions on life and work, also bt his blog, which incidentally became the first one i evr chked out coz though blogs had been around a long time, it always sounded like riflng thru someone's personal diary, a peek in life of others i wasn't to keen to take , bt i know better now 4 i was most pleasantly surprised to turn out wrong........an xchange of ideas, voicing out ur opinions , xpression of ur gut feel is wht it more seems like nw, tweets appear to be doing d same n i feel xcited to be a part of the times of techno-revolution tht have made it possible.....
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Done with procastrination
i have put it off long enough.......done with zoning off.........done with procrastination...
strangely i feel it nw whn i m so down and dejected , gt a tear on my cheek bt hope in my eyes coz i still hav d breath of life between my lips....so much to do, so much lost bt if i dn't make up for it nw, i nvr will ........dn't want my regrets to plague my life bt being able to look back with both joys and tears on a life well spent....... cn't b sure bt d nxt one u see;)
strange tht i craved anonymity whn i tht off making my thts public bt still cldn't let go off d feeling to make a good impression......on whom?. i dunno...reflects upon my vain weakness, the desire to be appreciated no matter who is bestowing nor who is getting d praise......human nature, i guess or maybe my more sinister side, i can't be sure.....
having said so , i find great relief in knowing it doesn't bother me anhymore, i hav finally succeeded in breaking one of the links of shackles tht keep me entrapd, can't wait to do away with the whole thing, it may be of my own making bt d bonds tht hold it 2gther are my own too.
strangely i feel it nw whn i m so down and dejected , gt a tear on my cheek bt hope in my eyes coz i still hav d breath of life between my lips....so much to do, so much lost bt if i dn't make up for it nw, i nvr will ........dn't want my regrets to plague my life bt being able to look back with both joys and tears on a life well spent....... cn't b sure bt d nxt one u see;)
strange tht i craved anonymity whn i tht off making my thts public bt still cldn't let go off d feeling to make a good impression......on whom?. i dunno...reflects upon my vain weakness, the desire to be appreciated no matter who is bestowing nor who is getting d praise......human nature, i guess or maybe my more sinister side, i can't be sure.....
having said so , i find great relief in knowing it doesn't bother me anhymore, i hav finally succeeded in breaking one of the links of shackles tht keep me entrapd, can't wait to do away with the whole thing, it may be of my own making bt d bonds tht hold it 2gther are my own too.
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